So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
