Your tits are I can't wait for
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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