Tell her she can't have a vagina
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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