Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
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And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize