Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
