So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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