I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
