She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
