I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
