Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
