I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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