You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
