We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
pray to the hookup gods
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize