you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
