And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
