New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
