The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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