I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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