the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
