So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
