so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
