I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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