After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She even gives head with a lisp.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
