If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
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I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
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Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
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