all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize