I can't watch pbs sober anymore
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Sober January is a disaster.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
