# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
