omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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