Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
