Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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