Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You can't just leave with hair like that
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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