shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
