how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize