I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
