Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
