He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
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I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
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Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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