Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
