got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
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