I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
zippers are such a cool invention
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
