hell yes lets make some ravioli
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
