Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Who did Billy Mays play for?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
