i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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