If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
