My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
pop tarts are not kleenex
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
