just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize