Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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