Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
In other news, I just burned my penis
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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