i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She's the barista slut.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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