she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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