Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
