her vagine was all disorganized.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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