@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
