i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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