I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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