this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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