Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
