one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
