Are we in a gay sports bar?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
