there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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