Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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