Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
