Don't make out with my wife yet
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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