I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
