they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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