nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
