Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
