i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
