Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
