therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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