whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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